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    My fragile hope shattered.
    Monday, August 17, 2009 @ 9:22 PM

    First day of second grading. I thought I could find a freetime to read a book but I was wrong. We never stayed in the classroom from flag ceremony until the 5th period.

    We went to the auditorium for the introduction of career conference,I guess. The first speaker was pastor Jebo Banzuelo. I'm glad he was as effective as mr. Francis Kong. He has a loud voice. Loud enough to catch our attention. He also delivered the topic well enough for us to digest. I got inspired.

    But that inspiration was short lived. It no longer stayed when another speaker came up to the stage and talked about something I barely remember because she was dull and didn't have a pause. She never let us digest first before she moved on to the next topic. I got bored and sleepy so I no longer paid attention.

    After that,we had our recess and went straight ahead to our designated place for the small groups. I chose medicine and computer science over hotel and restaurant management and I forgot the other one since I'm Interested in computer,arts and science. It somehow motivated me,and I got myself back happy and high. Little did I know my happiness wouldn't last long.

    It began when ms. San Miguel entered the class carrying our papers upon one arm and looked frustrated. It was the first time I saw her with such look and the first time I saw her mad as well. It was because of a student caught cheating using a piece of paper full of conversions inserted in his scientific calculator. I don't know if I have the right but I certainly am pissed at this student for causing the portion loss of our nice teacher's trust.

    Ms. San Miguel also mentioned that she was frustrated with the result of our exam because majority failed. In fact,we're not even close to half--12 out of 41. She asked if there's something wrong with her or the way she teaches. None was the answer she got.

    As she mention the last passing student's name,which wasn't mine, my hands began to shake uncontrollably, I started to lose some body heat and broke into microscopic pieces. I feel horrible and terrible inside. I feel like the world was against me. And an internal earthquake was occurring and if I were to release it,it would probably bury us alive six feet under the ground. I think that my temperature would drop down to zero. I feel half dead and would probably choke on my own bile. That's how bad I feel.

    The test was reasonably,truly,tremendously,seemingly and theoretically unfair. Ms. Canlas,who made the exam,came to our class to correct something. She made us change 17(atomic number) to 35, which later was found out to be it's mass number. She did say change. Change,not add. So we had to draw the Bohr model with much longer configuration. We were given a bit consideration but it definitely isn't enough. Once again,we were told to change and not add. We were given 2 points per item instead of 3. I would have passed if it would be 3 points each. She also mentioned that conversion would have lots of points as well as the quantum mechanics even though it was discussed within a short period of time and in a fast forward mode. It is going to be included she said. But there was no conversion nor quantum mechanics waiting for me. Absolutely none.

    It hurts so badly. But I shouldn't let it discourage me to study for this and the succeeding quarters because there's nothing I can do with it anymore. Instead,I should focus more. There's no point of thinking about it because it won't mend my broken heart.

    Sent from my iPod